we broke up and he got another girl pregnantwe broke up and he got another girl pregnant
And how can you be mad at the woman? We decided to get back together as we cant bear life without each other. Now I'm happily married and live in Orlando. Yes, he could have done worse by refusing to pay child support and not wanting to be in the child s life or being an alcoholic abusive parent, or what have you. Like labor isnt extremely painful. Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. He didnt give you another child. so we have a 8mth baby. Why? And thats why I wouldnt want anything to do with him in the first place. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? April 10, 2012, 7:22 pm. Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of . After 2 months, I initiated for a comeback. How quickly (or slowly) he got into a new relationship after your breakup. It would be nice if he said hed rather not have a kid, but he said that he is not happy that she is pregnant, and asked if she could abort. So true. So then, to be clear, your point isnt that gay men are more likely to wear condoms. Tristan Is Expecting a Baby With a Woman He Allegedly Cheated on Khlo Im sorry, but sex creates children. Is it Dear Wendy gender wars with the emotional females leaping to conclusions and bullying the open minded fair males who dare to object to name-calling and double standards? Fury at the woman he impregnated is misdirected. I do think that in their blind rage, some of the commenters have backed themselves into the position that men become the property of any woman they sleep with, as well as their exs. A mans legal obligation to support his children is not some well hidden secret and nowhere is it mentioned that hes being asked for anything more. Every woman who has given a child up for adoption is, in your mind, an immature asshole. So, in other words, men should only have oral sex no, wait, not even that, because the STD risk remains but that women can have all the se they want, because they have the option of aborting a resulting pregnancy? I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. I dont care. And not even the most important part. No interest in fatherhood? And for what its worth, I highly doubt he can bear to live without you. I mean, he didnt exactly waste any time getting some other chick pregnant, did he? Its just that all the other concepts that get us to the point of support arent gender blind yet. Just feeding on each other and leaving a trail of human wreckage in their wake. original. His anger is unwarranted unless its directed at himself. Chuck(le) Quit trying to dig into other peoples wallets to subsidize your lifestyle choices. (youve already split for two months, for reasons you didnt even mention). Quit acting like hes so hard done by by this woman and tell him to get some responsibility. Nope, none of it matters. This baby will need a dad, not just a check, and if he can walk away from this child he can walk away from you just as easily. He probably knows shell be a lousy mother. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. April 9, 2012, 5:05 pm. Be a grownup, decide if this relationship is worth the less perfect, more dramatic parts, and act accordingly. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? April 9, 2012, 6:35 pm, Not highly infectious, huh? I said there and I think it bears repeating here: you have no right to assume the woman you are having sex with has the same views on abortion as you. Its such a heated issue, because everyone knows someone that has some sort of baby-mama-drama on one side or the other. I dont think I have ever seen so many thumbs up on one post And it deserves them! It takes two to make a baby, and it doesnt seem like he was taking any precautions. 8 Red Flags the Pregnancy is a Trap - Ann Silvers, MA Your logic is weird. April 9, 2012, 4:55 pm. Shes also calling him a troll because he likes to show up only for these types of letters when he can tell DW commentators that we are all obviously wrong and from the she-women man hating club. If he truly wants nothing to do with his child and is willing to pay his obligatory financial support, I dont think that makes him a scumbag, I think thats good foresight. I know it is hard since you love this guy to see how reprehensible he is. 1 mth after we got together, he cheated and got a girl pregnant. They had just gotten back together after finding out she was pregnant. Hes an idiot either way. STORYTIME: my boyfriend cheated and got another girl pregnant Have you noticed how people sometimes own up to having unprotected sex, but its always when they didnt get pregnant? Im not a lawyer, or in any way familiar with the law about these things, so my assumption is based on what a friend told me first hand about his experience. He explained that they were always arguing, and that they actually broke up when he first talked to me. The man has NOTHING to do with any child creation. April 10, 2012, 4:51 pm. I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. It merely reduces the chances. -Exposed you to STIs by going bareback with a woman he cant stand and hes known for two minutes and then coming back to you P.S. For someone who cant stand a woman and does not want to have a child you think he would make slightly more responsibly decisions. You cant bear life without each other yet hes untrappable? OK, this is going to be longer than it should, but I have reactions to several things. April 9, 2012, 9:58 am. Addie Pray I just feel sorry for the pregnant girl. It doesnt matter how nicely you do it. Also, it implies that using a condom prevents pregnancy. When you break up, you get the rare opportunity to see your ex's true nature at the worst of times. lol. Youve never used malarky in any prior comment, so I just dont believe you. Hes scum because he plans on abandoning the baby. iseeshiny . iseeshiny Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! April 9, 2012, 6:25 pm, Jesus fucking christ! bittergaymark I think you handled your situation in the best way possible. I wouldnt want to hang around to find out. He sounds a bit flakey. Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences? Though some women seem to believe that is the case. Rachelgrace53 I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! So, you go back to where you started, and then he hits you with another bombshell. Honestly, I see unfairness in the current system too, but I dont see how you could look out for the best interests of children while simultaneously making everything 100% fair for both mother and father. Its not fair to create more fucked up human beings by being the father a kid never had; by making them think theres something about them that wasnt good enough. Couples break up for many reasons. Which keeps me pretty busy, and Im married to my daughters mother. Before getting back together with your ex, maybe you should consider strongly whether or not you want to be with the kind of person whos angry that someone didnt abort in order to alleviate HIM of responsibility. I cant even imagine how a grown man can be deceived into impregnating someone. In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy back but the guy is the one who pulled away. The fact that only the woman has the abortion option is biology, not anyones opinion. Not with hormonal BC, not with 2 methods of BC, not when one of the individuals has been sterilized. Fortunately, its a well known fact that theres no 100% guarantee with birth control. He can just disappear forever for all I care. That a woman has a right to choose if she carries a child to term or not should nor mean that she has a right to choose how a man spends his money for the next 18 years. Of course, there are adjustments to be made, but babies do not mean that all other relationships become secondary. These are very common questions going through a guy's mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. In this situation, there would be no contest of custody or support. Who deserves to have the two people who were responsible for bringing it into the world both contributing to support it. Only the fools. Like getting child support is easy. The thought of a child waiting for him at home makes going away so much easier. But, now hes faced with the unwanted consequences of that choice, and while its unfortunate, its how life works. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. I do not think he has a duty to be there for the child he never wanted and made it known he did not want to have with time to do something about it. If hes being deceived then hes a willing participant. I hope the LW takes note of the fact that Amandas comment currently has 61 likes. Consider that this is the kind of guy that has casual sex with people he doesnt really know/like while on break from a relationship with someone he cant live without. While it would be ridiculous to only have sex if you intended to conceive a child, it should still be in the back of everyones mind that it *can* happen, and if so, the woman, whos burdened with the pregnancy, gets to make the final call. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. Besides, why would you want to be with a man who is with someone else? He hides me as well as the other girl. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt. But then, I guess I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. Oh I completely agree! April 10, 2012, 4:50 pm. I cried and felt so depressed. Dude, thats seriously out of line. Your bf cant stop her from having the baby. I (28F) found out that my boyfriend (30M) is talking to another girl, just a day after we broke up (no proper closure). Not only to prevent babies but to protect yourself from STDs. Not to mention raising the baby, which women are way way WAAAYYY more likely to do alone than men. You dont have an obligation to be faithful to an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend! nurserie cerise et capucine we broke up and he got another girl pregnant.If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn't feel right.In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy . TOTALLY USING THAT. Well, ok. You can look at it like women are lucky- they can opt out at the last minute! She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. Model Mustang. He chose to not wear a condom and now he has to be responsible for his choice. I dont think its necessarily fair. April 9, 2012, 9:56 pm. It's like she's a completely different person. Oh wow, that was longer than I expected. It will have feelings too. SMDH! The point you bring up here is why I cant wrap my head around one night stands. Im usually just a lurker here on DW, but the strong debate over this letter compelled me to comment. lets_be_honest So, in other words, RR, it is a noble thing to give your child to strangers in the hope that he or she is treated well (that the adoptive parents wont abuse them, wont get divorced in a messy way, wont let them fend for themselves, and so on), even though youll have no interaction with that child again, but it is base and vile to have the same lack of interaction but to provide financial support which doesnt in any way affect the mothers ability to find a partner that is right for her. I wont go into the reasons they came to this, (very long, and quite personal, story), but its entirely possible that if a women gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby though the father would prefer she abort, he DOES have the option to waive his parental rights and duties to the child and thus not be legally responsible for child support. I told her if its not about the kids, dont text him. lets_be_honest You know, if he was tricked its not surprising that he would say these things. Of course my opinion of her is based on the story he is telling you. How about getting to know one another really well before having sex? April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. Run as if your life depends on it because it does. Its Gone Downhill. That is called deception. The guy had sex (presumably) without a condom with a woman that (he at least believed) was on the pill. After a breakup, Bird said, some people just need "an emotional cutoff and want to remove all evidence of their ex from their life.". Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill.
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